Balance

As I stated in my 2011 Year in Review post I don't really have any concrete goals this year. Something I'm trying to be okay with.

I recently read this post about being the "Best Version of Us in 2012" and it really resonated with me.

So what if I try something different? For the first time in almost 30 years, what if I don’t set a physical goal – no weight loss, no leaning out, no target time on the clock or weight on the bar.

Instead, what if I just behave like the best version of myself? Then I will be her.

I ran yesterday at lunch. I had my Garmin all charged up and ready to go. And then I forgot to put it on. I realized it as I walked outside with my coworkers.

I shrugged. Oh well. I know how far we go. It's between 3 and 5 miles. I'm not training for anything. I just like to run. I don't need to know exactly how far I went or how fast I was. (Although, I admit, it would have been nice to know if I was running faster or slower than usual and if my chest feeling like it was going to explode was because it was 20 degrees outside or because I only ran 39 miles in December) (I also admit to checking the distance again on Gmap Pedometer when I got back to the office) (I'm not perfect)

What is the best version of myself? One who does what she can right now. One who accepts that speed and distance and the numbers at the end of the month are not her only defining characteristics. One that does what she loves because she loves it and not because she HAS to.

There is no accounting ledger keeping track of exemplary behavior for a reward later. There is no intrinsic value in checking off tasks on a list to earn a metaphorical gold star.

I like gold stars. I like watching the rewards points mount up on Earnd It. I'm intrigued by the concept of GymPact The idea of not earning a single medal nor chasing down a single PR in 2012 freaks me out to the point of tears.

But maybe being the best me in 2012 just means doing something every day that I can and not focusing on the results so much. Maybe that means a run. Maybe that means yoga. Maybe that means 30 minutes on my bike. Maybe it means doing PT exercises. Maybe it means sitting on the couch with my husband laughing at something stupid.

The year of the best version of me – happily going to bed early, waking up early, eating dino-chow, training hard wisely, lifting heavy things, remembering to take a fun run every week play a little every day, spreading love, looking up, leading with my chin, making up new recipes, singing out loud.

Not because I must.

Because I want to. Because that’s me. The best me.

Maybe it means learning balance.

All quotes from "The Best Version of Us" by Melissa "Melicious" Joulwan at The Clothes Make the Girl